Generational Run
Mark Zuckerberg
TechMarch 25, 2026
builds a website to rate girls at Harvard because he got dumpedit works so well he accidentally invents social mediadrops out of Harvard because why notmoves to Silicon Valley at 20 with no plan Bturns down Yahoo's $1B offer like it was a couponFacebook hits 1 billion users, becomes the town square of the internetbuys Instagram for $1B and everyone calls him insaneInstagram is now worth $200B+buys WhatsApp for $19B, the most expensive text app in historyWhatsApp now has 2 billion users and prints moneybuys Oculus because he saw a VR demo once and got excitedgets hauled in front of Congresssits on a booster seat and drinks water like an alien learning human customs"Senator, we run ads"gets hauled in front of Congress againdoesn't blinkrenames the entire company Meta because he believes the metaverse is the futurestock drops 70%, loses $200B+ in market cap in a single daythe internet declares him finishedposts a video of himself doing MMAwait whatstarts training jiu-jitsu like his life depends on itchallenges Elon Musk to a cage fightthis is a real thing that almost happenedthe CEO of a $1.5 trillion company was going to fight another CEO in a literal octagonmeanwhile quietly rebuilds the entire company around AIMeta stock goes from $90 to $600+investors who sold at the bottom in shambleslaunches Threads to compete with Twittergets 100 million signups in five daysstarts dressing like a normal human being for the first time in 20 yearschain necklace eracurly hair erabuilt a bunker in Hawaii just in casehas mass surveillance data on 3 billion people and somehow that's the least interesting thing about himnet worth crosses $200Bwent from "the weird Facebook kid" to one of the most powerful humans alivestill looks like he was generated by AI
The run that refused to satisfactorily explain your data privacy settings 📈